Discussing Alcoholic Drinks: How to Talk so Kids Will Listen

Effects of Alcohol: A Case Study

Brock Turner, a 20-year Stanford student, was convicted on three sexual assault felony accounts while under the influence of alcohol in 2016. Many followed his case as they felt the sentence was too lenient: six months in jail for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman. The victim of the assault outlined her experience and why the sentence is such a problem in a lengthy letter, publicly published.

There are many discussion topics one can take from this case. There’s a conversation about white privilege, another about rape culture, and a third about freedom of speech and the courage of victims to share a story. For those who are watching for an opportunity, it’s also an opening for an honest conversation about excessive drinking, especially among young adult college students.

Teachable Moments About Real-Life Drinking

The case cannot be a “well, she was drinking, she deserved it” or “that’s what happens at parties” or a “boys drink and will be boys” conversation. There is a reasonable argument that Brock Turner assaulted the young woman due to an inherent belief in his value system, and alcohol has nothing to do with that. According to the Department of Justice, alcohol is involved in 40% of all violent crimes, and 37% of convicted offenders were drinking at the time of the arrest. 

The change that is called for in light of such an occurrence is a shift in personal and cultural beliefs that suggest it’s okay to take advantage of others. Both the young woman and young man were drinking before the assault. For a parent worried about their child’s safety, the Turner case can be a good place to start or continue a conversation about drinking and the challenges it can pose.

Tips to Teach Your Kids Facts About Alcohol and Drinking

You might think you’re the last person your teen would want to listen to. But studies have shown over and over again that the opinions of people who care for us make a huge difference in the decisions we make in life. If the relationship is built on mutual trust and love and the conversation is respectful, the teen is likely to be more receptive.

Pick the Right Time, Place, and Tone

As far as timing, the earlier you engage your loved one in conversation about alcohol, the better. Beginning the dialogue at a young age sets up a future of easier talks and establishes expectations. If your loved one is older, find a time to talk where the conversation has enough space to progress comfortably and in a safe place. 

You can even spark the conversation during a light-hearted or fun activity you’re doing together. Ask open-ended questions, and listen to answers. Try not to lecture, and if you find yourself having a strong emotional reaction, take a moment to breathe and identify what’s upsetting you before responding.

Be Honest

It’s okay to tell your loved one why you want to talk about drinking: because you care about them and their health and safety and want to provide the best advice for building a better future. If they ask about your drinking past or current habits, you can say something like: 

• “I had my first drink when I was too young, and I wish I hadn’t.”
• “You know, this conversation is actually making me think about how much I drink and if I feel comfortable with it.”

Share Knowledge and Encourage Empowerment

Drinking can be incredibly detrimental to the teen brain, causing potentially irreparable structural and functional damage in areas of focus, memory, delayed gratification, and more. Perform research on the dangers of underage drinking and share what you find with your loved one. This can empower them to use that information to make informed, intelligent decisions. Explain that:

• Beer isn’t “safer” than hard alcohol.
• Binge drinking can have incredibly drastic consequences.
• It generally takes 2-3 hours for one drink to leave the average person’s body.
  

Be Clear and Firm

Let your loved one know there is a solid boundary in your belief system and expectations. While pushing the limits may be a natural part of adolescence and young adulthood, young people often feel safer knowing where the boundary is.

Make it clear if you expect them not to drink, and teach them the benefits of not drinking alcohol. Learning to say “No” with a straight posture, eye contact, and fortitude will help them in times of peer pressure around drinking and other challenging situations.

Encourage Healthy Community

A conversation about drinking is ideally supported by a strong, healthy relationship between yourself, your loved one, and your collective community. Know your teen or young adult’s friends and their friends’ parents. Encourage healthy relationships and safe activities; spend time creating alternatives to drinking that your loved one can truly enjoy.

Getting Drugs and Alcohol Addiction Help for Your Teen

Teens and young adults often start drinking out of curiosity, for stress relief, or due to peer pressure. For concerned parents, understanding these motivations can help start meaningful conversations about drinking and its challenges.

Concerned your teen or young adult may already have a drinking problem? Looking for alcohol rehab programs for teens in Colorado or Maryland? Have questions about alcohol addiction outpatient rehab? Contact the staff at Sandstone Care. We look forward to assisting you and your loved ones.