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In today’s evolving landscape of relationships, many men are grappling with the feeling that the rule book is being rewritten.
You might find yourself feeling like you can’t do anything right or that there’s an invisible glass wall between you and your partner, obstructing effective communication.
If this resonates with you, then the insights shared in the latest episode of “Treatable” with host Clint Mally are bound to offer some much-needed clarity and guidance.
Treatable is a podcast that dives deep into mental health challenges with experts who show us that change is possible.
Clint Mally, the host of this invaluable resource, explores how men can foster healthier relationships using the STRONG model of relational therapy.
This episode features Krystal DeSantis, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Austin, Texas.
DeSantis is renowned for her work in relationships, trauma therapy, and sex therapy.
Her development of the STRONG model blends trauma-informed and attachment-based methods, garnering her recognition as a leading authority on the subject.
Krystal began her journey with the desire to balance the gender disparity she observed in her profession.
With a predominant number of therapists and therapeutic resources aimed at women, she saw the need to provide men with the resources to build healthy relationships and good mental health.
This led her to write her book, “STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man.”
In the episode, Clint and Krystal delve into the six pillars of the STRONG model: Safety, Trust, Respect, Openness, Nurturing, and Generosity. Here’s a closer look at each one:
Safety forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. For men, this often translates to the instinctive desire to keep their partners and families safe.
However, safety in modern relationships goes beyond physical protection. It involves understanding and mitigating behaviors that inadvertently cause discomfort or fear, like raising your voice or slamming doors.
Self-awareness and self-regulation are key components of creating a safe and secure environment.
Building trust involves consistent, reliable actions that establish a bond over time.
It’s a collaborative effort where both partners must participate actively to send and receive trust-building actions.
Drawing an analogy to a suspension bridge, Krystal explains that trust is constructed thread by thread through repeated, reliable interactions.
Respect in relationships is often misunderstood. Krystal distinguishes between respect for authority and respect for autonomy.
In a healthy relationship, mutual respect involves recognizing each other’s autonomy and authority over oneself, not over the other person.
It’s about maintaining self-respect and respecting your partner’s boundaries, contributing to a balanced and respectful dynamic.
Openness is crucial for growth within a relationship. Both partners need to accept that individuals change over time.
Embracing this change together and having open, honest conversations about evolving needs ensure that the relationship continues to thrive.
Nurturing relationships go beyond initial romantic gestures. It involves continual attention to the emotional and practical needs of your partner and maintaining a strong, supportive connection.
Krystal emphasizes the importance of both partners actively nurturing the relationship to keep it fulfilling and vibrant.
Generosity in relationships adds a special touch. It’s about thinking of your partner when they’re not around and making small gestures that show you care.
Whether it’s sending a thoughtful text, picking up their favorite treat, or doing something that makes their day a bit brighter, these actions contribute significantly to a loving and supportive relationship.
Nurturing and generosity are often overlooked but are vital for the longevity and health of any relationship.
These qualities encourage both partners to stay connected, think about each other’s needs, and continuously invest in the relationship.
Krystal’s perspective is that generosity acts like “magic fairy dust,” adding an extra special touch that keeps the bond strong and fulfilling.
For anyone feeling the strain in their relationship, the insights from Krystal DeSantis and her book offer practical tools and understanding to navigate these challenges.
Whether you’re at the beginning of a relationship or have been with your partner for years, adopting the STRONG model can help improve and strengthen your connection.
To learn more about Krystal DeSantis and her work, visit her website at Strong Love or follow her on Instagram @TXTherapist.
You’ll also find links to her book in the show notes and description box of the podcast episode.
Whether you’re seeking immediate guidance or looking to better understand relational dynamics, Krystal’s book, “STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man,” is a valuable resource.
Relationships are complex, but with the right knowledge and tools, they are absolutely treatable.
Listen to the full episode of Treatable for more insights and begin your journey towards healthier relationships today.
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